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Death of Bassy Bernstein (Long Island, New York)
Drank Frappachino, February, 27, 2005
Link: jewrl.com/?
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Post Message | Show all 4 posts

Sign the guestbook Posted by Shoshi Berger (2/27/2005)- Maybe it is better this way. I have ALWAYS said I would rather die than drink a full fat frappuccino. I mean it totally has like a billion calories. Just one could totally make you gain like ten pounds and never fit into your favorite clothes ever again. Everyone would totally be able to tell immediately. If she didn't die from the fat content she might have died of the shame afterwards. It wasn't her fault, she ordered her usual, low fat half caf, and the coffee guy screwed it up. I kind of suspected from the evil glint in his eye as he handed her the coffee, but I was trying to judge him favorably. That will teach me.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Rivky Bernstein (2/27/2005)- I told her she just need to hold out for a few more shidduchim. I mean everyone knows that AFTER you are married you can eat all the high fat food you want but really if she ever wanted to find her Bashert, what was she thinking???? She clearly should have taken more care when ordering her coffee.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Esti (2/27/2005)- Oh, they're saying it was the coffee. Only my friend's sister's friend's niece's sister-in-law swears that she once saw you eating a cookie made with REAL butter AND sugar. We were all expecting this news eventually after hearing that.
Sign the guestbookPosted by Plonis Almonis
(2/27/2005)- Dear Bassy, I am writing under a pseudonym as I had to sign as you were my best friend ever and I am soooooooooooo upset at your tragic death, but at the same time, I am still single and I do not want my shadchanim to find out that I am associated with anyone who, a full fat frappachino has passed the lips of. Even though you are now gone and hence cannot influence me to such terrible paths, the shadchanim will see it as illustrative of the crowds that I mix in. And might assume that I am not stringently adhering to the precepts of Weight Watchers and do not take marriage seriously. I know that you would have understood and probably done the same thing if it had been the other way around (chas veshalom).
 

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