Post Message | Show all 6 posts

Posted by Officer Thompson of the Arizona State Police (3/4/05)- I am sorry to hear about the death of John he was a close friend and I was horribly distressed to find his teeth imbedded in that cliff with the remains of his car.

Posted by Benjamin Franklin (3/4/05)- We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.

Posted by Darwinawards.com (3/5/05)- We are glad to announce that Major John Shmitt has been awarded a Darwin Award for the noble act of removing himself from the gene pool by attaching a rocket engine to the roof of his car.

Posted by Hadassa Smith (3/5/05)- The funeral will be at the Cohen, Cohen, Cohen and Cohen Memorial Chapel at 5:30 am as he was (sob!) an early riser and since he has no family there will be no one sitting shiva.

Posted by Rabbi Becky Goldstein (3/6/05)- Mazel Tov John the whole community is proud of you, you are the first person from Yeshivas Avodas Zaras of Eastern North Churchsville to receive a Darwin Award and all the boys in the Church Street Kollel want to join you in the select circle of Darwin Award recipients.

Posted by FBI Agent Carter (3/7/05)- We have received information that Major John Shmitt might still be alive, and hiding out with Osama bin Laden, Elvis, and the Lubavitcher Rebbe in the Bermuda Triangle.