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Death of Polly Parrot (Lancaster, UK)
December 7, 1969
Link: jewrl.com/?
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Polly with Shopkeeper & Owner Yonaton Cleese

Post Message | Show all 39 posts

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Hello, I wish to register a complaint...Hello?

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Sorry, we're closing for lunch.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Oh yes, the, the Norwegian Blue. What's wrong with it?

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- No, no, it's resting!

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Look my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- No no sir. it's not dead. It's resting!

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Resting?

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (5/3/2003)- Yeah, remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, beautiful plumage, innit?

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- The plumage don't enter into it - it's stone dead.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- No, no - it's just resting!

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake him up! Hello Polly! I've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, Polly Parrot!

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- [Knocks the cage] There, it moved!

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- No, he didn't. That was you pushing the cage!

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- I did not.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Yes, you did! [Takes Polly out of cage] Hello Polly, Polly [Bangs her against the counter] Polly Parrot, wake up. Polly. [Throws Polly in the air and lets her fall to the floor] Now that's what I call a dead parrot!

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- No, no. It's stunned.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Look my lad, I've had just about enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased. And when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- It's probably pining for the fjords.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Pining for the fjords, what kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I got it home?

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- The Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on it's back! Beautiful bird, lovely plumage!

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Well of course it was nailed there. Otherwise it would muscle up to those bars, and voom!

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Look matey, this parrot wouldn't voom if you put four thousand volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- It's not, it's pining!

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- It's not pining, it's passed on. This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to meet its maker.This is a late parrot. It's a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. If you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies. It's rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Well, I'd better replace it, then.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- [Mumbling] If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Sorry guv, we're right out of parrots.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- I see. I see. I get the picture.

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- I got a slug.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Does it talk?

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Not really, no.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Well, it's scarcely a replacement, then is it?

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Listen, I'll tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton he'll replace your parrot for you.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- Bolton eh?

Sign the guestbookPosted by Shopkeeper (12/7/1969)- Yeah.

Sign the guestbook Posted by Yonatan Cleese (12/7/1969)- All right.

 

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