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I CANT BELIEVE IT!?!? I WATERED IT SO CAREFULLY!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
(12/7/1969)- I'm SOOOO sad for you! that was
like, your favorite plant. At least it wasn't a surprise, I
noticed it had been wilting since you bought it.
(9/29/1504)- Aw, I remember when you were just a sapling. I'm glad you've
gone to a better place.
(9/28/2004)- BEWARE I once buried a plant and it RETURNED TO LIFE, I saw its
pale stalk reaching out from the grave almost a month after its passing! Luckily
I had time to cut it up and poison the ground around it before the zombie plant
could kill me and my family.
(9/28/2004)- You won't believe it, but I once killed an artificial plant!
Left it out in the sun, it turned brown and the leaves fell off. Not
everyone has a green thumb, don't get so upset over it.
PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Aglaonemas)
(9/28/2004)- You won't get away with this! Perennial aglaonemas
don't just die when kept at 60-85°F, It was murdered! A slow thirsting
death, O' HORRIBLE EVIL!!!
(9/28/2004)- Don't feel so bad, once we completely forgot about our plants then
when we came back from vacation they were all dead.
PETA gave us some flak too, just take a tomato hostage and they'll leave you
(9/30/2004)- Hey Our Houseplant, Nice to see your name in print again. Speaking of which,
remember that loan I gave you back in the old country. You always said you would
pay me back someday, but you never did. I'm kind of short on cash right now, so
I would appreciate it if you were to give back the ten, twenty or (please,
please) fifty bucks I lent you. Just send the loot to:
459 8th Avenue
NY, NY, 10101
This is not a scam,