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Posted by The New York Times (6/23/2004)- Mr. Crazeny Nutskas found giant shrimp in his water while cleaning his lettuce. He told our reporter "I don't understand it I was cleaning some greens for a salad and all the sudden a bunch of giant shrimp were all over my kitchen." This is a real problem for the Orthodox Jewish community as they will not be able to drink the city water.

Posted by Smankel Forester (6/24/2004)- Don't worry people there is no problem with the water because you can't see the shrimp in the water.

Posted by Yehuda Grinkon (6/24/2004)- Are you joking the shrimp in my water have got to be at least three inches long.

Posted by C Food Yung (6/25/2004)- IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are Jewish you cannot eat the shrimp however you can give them to me, I assure you that I will dispose of them properly free of charge!

Posted by Dr. Polikofsky, Licensed Chiropracter and Professor of Literature (6/26/2004)- Recent studies have shown that shrimp have split hooves and chew there cud so therefor according to Jewish law they are now kosher and there is no problem, not only that but they also have scales and fins so they are double kosher, and finally I have found sacred text stating that shrimp is a bird that is traditional eaten by jews, do you need anymore proof?

Posted by Disbelievers Anonymous of California (6/27/2004)- We did not believe you, and therefore we looked in the water and discovered absolutely no shrimp at all. You people have really got to clean your air!

Posted by Wierdstuff.com (6/30/2004)- Me and john went to NYC to see these giant shrimp in the water and we discovered a complete lack of shrimp, until we looked at the water through a microscope, and I must admit a saw a whole group of giant three inch long shrimp and they had hooves, scales, and feathers, therefor there is no problem whatsoever.