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International Enquirer (12/17/2004)- Aliens Walk Among Us!!!! It's true. Chicago resident Meir Kleinfelder states he has conclusive proof that his neighbor's chassan is not all he seems. Read futher for details. And, don't miss our special feature: "American Pie Cutie Turns to Psychic to Save Marriage". Horoscopes, crosswords and ads. All the 'news' inquiring minds must know™.

Posted by Meir Kleinfelder (12/17/2004)- My neighbor Mindy Perlman married Yehezkel Levovitz about a month ago, and I immediatly noticed he was a little strange. He always left for work early in the morning and came back late at night. He looks slightly odd. He never made good eye contact, and I once caught him looking at the stars. I was suspicious then. But I didn't know the truth until yesterday.   That's when I found a genuine working geshmalderborgen in his kitchen. What use would a human have for such a gadget?

Posted by Alan Watts, Ufologist (12/19/2004)- I knew it! This explains everything. The pyramids, Stonehenge, Bin Laden's disappearance, the battle of Agincourt. Aliens are behind it all. They've been among us for several years now. I tried to warn you. But did you listen? NO, you called me a fool. Well I think this geshmalderborgen is  enough proof for anyone. See aliens exist after all. Who's the fool now? Who's the fool now!

Posted by Mordechai Levy (12/20/2004)- How can you say such Loshen Hara? Yehezkel learned with me in kollel for three years! He a good bachur. So stop defaming his good name. I mean, come on. He clearly looks like he's human to me.

Posted by Chizky Friedman (12/20/2004)- Oh yeah, he went to Kollel with you. The kollel on Alpha Centuri Prime!!! And as for Yehezkel looking human, haven't you ever seen Men In Black. Everyone knows aliens wear skins. if you enlarge the picture you can clearly see areas where his skin is loose and wrinkled. How dumb do you aliens think we are.

Posted by Xaxar, Great Leader of the Foemeds (12/22/2004)- Very dumb puny human. Taking over your world should be a snap.