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OnlyTzaras.com
Terms of Service
1.
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the OnlyTzaras.com Not-For-Profit Web
Site (the "Site"), provided to you by OnlyTzaras Blah Blah.
Please review the following terms of service before using this Site.
This agreement, and any other terms and conditions
posted Blah Blah, governs the user and Blah
2.
Privacy Policy
Any
personal information you give us about any tzaras you may have will be
immediately posted online for all the world to know.
3-8.
Blah
Some boring legal text not unlike #9 below (which
you must read carefully or we might sue you)
9.
INDEMNITY
By using this web site you agree to indemnify
OnlyTzaras and its parents, subsidiaries, affiliates, directors,
officers, consultants, lawyers, plumbers, shopkeepers, salesmen,
astronomers, postmen, animal trainers and industrial waste specialists.
You must know what indemnity means without having to look it up.
10.
DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTY AND LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY
NOW
THE MANDATORY ALL CAPS PRINT, AS IF YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO READ THE
WHOLE THING IF IT IS IN CAPS. THIS IS BLATANTLY AGAINST THE MOST BASIC
INTERNET ETIQUETTE BUT LAWYERS CAN DO THAT KIND OF THING
(b) A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF READERS MAY EXPERIENCE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES
WHEN EXPOSED TO CERTAIN LIGHT PATTERNS OR BACKGROUNDS ON A COMPUTER
SCREEN. CERTAIN CONDITIONS MAY INDUCE PREVIOUSLY UNDETECTED EPILEPTIC
SYMPTOMS EVEN IN USERS WHO HAVE NO HISTORY OF PRIOR SEIZURES OR
EPILEPSY. IF YOU, OR ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY, HAVE AN EPILEPTIC
CONDITION, CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN PRIOR TO READING THIS SITE.
IMMEDIATELY DISCONTINUE USE AND CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN IF YOU
EXPERIENCE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS WHILE ON OnlyTzaras:
DIZZINESS, ALTERED VISION, EYE OR MUSCLE TWITCHES, LOSS OF AWARENESS,
DISORIENTATION, ANY INVOLUNTARY MOVEMENT, OR CONVULSIONS.
(m)
THIS SITE AND ALL PRODUCTS AND SERVICES PROVIDED THROUGH IT ARE
PROVIDED "AS IS" WITH NO WARRANTIES WHATSOEVER. ALL EXPRESS, IMPLIED,
AND STATUTORY WARRANTIES, INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, THE WARRANTIES
OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND
NON-INFRINGEMENT, ARE EXPRESSLY DISCLAIMED. TO THE FULLEST EXTENT
PERMITTED BY LAW, OnlyTzaras DISCLAIMS ANY WARRANTIES FOR THE SECURITY,
RELIABILITY, TIMELINESS, AND PERFORMANCE OF THIS SERVICE. OnlyTzaras
DISCLAIMS ANY WARRANTIES FOR OTHER SERVICES OR GOODS RECEIVED THROUGH
OR ADVERTISED ON THIS SITE OR RECEIVED THROUGH ANY LINKS PROVIDED IN
THE SITE, AS WELL AS FOR ANY INFORMATION OR ADVICE RECEIVED THROUGH THE
SITE OR THROUGH ANY LINKS PROVIDED IN THE SITE. OnlyTzaras SIMILARLY
DISCLAIMS, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, ANY WARRANTIES FOR
ANY INFORMATION OR ADVICE OBTAINED THROUGH THE SITE. BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH ANY INFORMATION OR ADVICE RECEIVED THROUGH BLAH REASON OF OTHER SERVICES OR GOODS RECEIVED THROUGH
OR ADVERTISED BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
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